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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Goat's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
12:03 pm
didnt argue with anyone, but i like this quote and thought i should post it.
Arguing over the internet is like running in the special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded
Sunday, February 1st, 2004
12:58 am
Iraq so far...
well, im in iraq now. ive been here for a few weeks. its...well its different. im doing a lot of things that i didnt think i would be doing. right now im using Haji internet. dont ask. the day i got here, i hadnt been here 12 hours. we went on our first convoy. having not held a rifle for a few months, i had to quickly adjust and remember everything i had learned, and fast. i have the M4 now, which is a much more effective rifle than the M16, and smaller and lighter, which is always a huge plus. when we took off for our destination, the FOB - aka St. Michael - it was pitch black outside, and all the new soldiers that had just arrived in the country were nervous, me included. i was talking to the gunner on the 50 cal, and he said that they had been hit on this road a lot lately. i was pulling rear guard, when the convoy suddenly stopped. it was quiet. then all you hear was metal hitting metal. it was clear that one of the trucks was being hit. turns out that the front humvee was being hit. when that happened, all you heard was the Mark 19 going off. thats a hell of a weapon. after a second or so, we were back underway to the FOB. we got there, and then i kinda knew that this trip wasnt going to be as pleasant as i had imagined. hell, knew it wasnt going to be good in anyway, but you want to convince yourself otherwise, you know, to make the best of it.
i tell people that im doing good all the time and i dont want them to worry. they have enough to worry about in their own lives. i dont worry, because if you do, youd be a mess all the time. gotta run now. update later
Monday, January 12th, 2004
2:38 pm
gone for a lil bit...
Im sitting in the desert right now. be back in the country sometime later. drop me a line at matthew.j.brubaker@us.army.mil thanks

Current Mood: unsure
Saturday, December 27th, 2003
6:55 pm
times like these...
christmas came and christmas went. it didnt feel like christmas at all. my family came down for christmas, and that i really enjoyed. its really nice to see people you love. ill be honest with you, its lonely here in the army. i mean, theres people here to chill with, and they are experiencing the same thing that you are going through, but its just lonely. thats the best word i can use to describe it. my family left this morning. my mom cried. at the time, i was just like, ok, they are going back home. i didnt think much of it, and i went back to sleep. when i woke up about an hour later, i sad that they were not there. thats the last time im going to see my mom and dad and both my sisters for a lil while, and between the next time we come across one another, i have to go to a lil country known as iraq. i dont know. im glad jeanette is coming over here next weekend, but by the end of the weekend, she too will be going home. its hard to see your loved ones just leave after the weekend is over. i dont like being over on the east coast when everyone i truly care about is on the west coast, living their own lives and the only thing that really keeps us connected is memories. i can deal with that, and i hope people dont forget who i am and i exsist. i miss casey. i dont think i talk to her enough as i should. dont get me wrong, i miss a lot of people, just casey a lil bit more. i need to go home. i know that this is my home now, but i dont want it to be. i dont belong here. as the cadence goes, "this army life is not my style." when jeanette comes down, i will love that, all though, i wont be happy to see her go. itll be a lil bit different than when my parents left this morning. i need to get back to southern california where the killers roll. i need to get back to where i feel comfortable with my surroundings and the people i hang out with, not just hang out with people because they are there. i need to spend quality time with friends watching mtv and making fun of everything we are seeing. i guess its harder to let go of the past then i thought it would be. im still hanging onto the past in the form of one person. ill be damned if i let that go. i have my cousin here to keep me sane, which is really great knowing. hes a good guy. my girlfriend thinks hes cute. i laughed. well thats it for right now, ill update again some time this week

Current Mood: lonely
Saturday, November 15th, 2003
6:08 pm
life goes on
so yeah, lifes moving. its november now. i havent writen in this thing in quite some time. im in georgia now. the government thinks it would be good to through me outta a plane moving at 120 knots per minute, that translates to 160mph. i dont know why but hey, im getting paid more so thats good. my room doesnt have a door, and to be honest, its the biggest piece of shit ive ever been in. i got out to burger king to take a shit, thats how bad it is there. i miss everyone. i miss rambo telling be to turn my music down, i miss casey laughing at every stupid thing i say, i miss emily giving me great insight on life, i miss gigi asking about my sex life, i miss having a sex life, i miss danielle wanting me to entertain her on those boring as hell nights in the dorms, i miss jeanette just being there wanting me not to leave. i love that girl and im not afraid to say it. right now, i date an M-16. its a great weapon. has the range of over 600 yards. i couldnt hit anything that far, but it can get that far. i start to shoot wide about 350 yards. funny thing about the M-16, the plastic on the handle and around the chamber so you dont burn your hands, is made by Mattel. think of that next time you play with your Barbies. im coming home around thanksgiving. i jsut want to see some family for a couple days and hang out the rest of the time at the dorms with my baby and my homies. anyways, ive seen the east coast, which is something i never really thought about. its cool, and cold as hell. we ran 8 miles in 29 degrees yesterday. that was cold. thats it right now. oh, and i miss les.
Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
3:03 am
I am on Your Side
so yeah, life is progressing. today was my last day. the only people i feel i will miss is my lead Eric, and this spanish lady that doesnt speak too much english named Cecila. they be cool people. had a BBQ yesterday. that was nice. brought out a lot of cool people. so the RAs got noticed today. few people i know got it. im happy for them. one guy didnt that deserved it. he loves the job for the job, and i feel that he would do it if the free room wasnt offered. schools lose. today is the 3rd. i leave for Georgia on June 3rd. time is flowing away. i need to see my friend casey some more. havent in a while. i feed Jeanette these bob the builder things, and she doesnt feel too good. i feel bad. i hear Taylor is in san diego. Rambo is in Reno. im going to hemet this weekend. next weekend im going to my sisters in san luis obispo. i wish jeanette could come with me. i know she wants to, but she needs to see her parents. i miss you babe. youre are the person i will miss the most outside of my family in hemet. sorry i cant go to pete yorn with you on the 30th.

Current Mood: calm
Friday, April 18th, 2003
11:42 pm
I'm going to become a stranger again
so lemme tell you whats been going down in my life lately. i joined the army, i gave my two weeks, and i think life is going good. yeah, i enlisted. im going to tour for 3 years under 77 Fox. im looking forward to it. i have basic at fort benning in georgia for nine weeks, then job training at fort lee virginia for 11 weeks, then back to fort benning for 3 weeks of airborne school. im excited. i gave my two weeks, cuz i cant get any days off from work, and i need to see my family and live a lil. they all knew it was coming. the friend situation is going good. a lil confussed right now with my best friend. i get the idea that my hanging around her makes her a lil uncomfortable. yeah, long story there, and fortunately, you dont get to hear it. i dont know, just trying not to cause an drama before i leave, but i kinda did. i jsut dont want to leave a bad impression, and i feel i might. yeah, im done. i need some love right now.

Current Mood: Impatient
Tuesday, April 8th, 2003
1:38 am
the good times need to keep bein' good.
today was a long day. woke up and went to disneyland. ahhh, that was alright, kinda slow. saw a lot of good booty, so that is always good. went home today. had to talk with my parents about my future in person. they seemed to be iffy, but thats what parents do. no one wants to see their child be placed in an enviroment where they could get killed. has the thought entered my mind that i could get killed, yeah. i would be foolish if it didnt. i just feel, that this is something i want to do, for myself, not for the money, not for the benefits, but because i want to. found out my family over there can be viewed on fox news. god bless the media and allowing the american public way over in the states to get a feel without being over there. i love the fact that news men are chillin with the guys doin the fighting. kinda makes me comfortable knowing that when a marine is killed, i could flick on the right channel and see if it was my cousins' platoon. but then again, thats scary. all i know is, they are in Baghdad and they have had three members of their company killed. that kinda hits home. kinda sensitive on this. aights im done

Current Mood: calm
Sunday, March 30th, 2003
3:33 am
no one lives forever.
ahhh, its late. bout 3:30. saturday night, or sunday morning. today was a good day. went to walmart and bought a flick. El Mariachi. its the first part to everyones favorite south-of-the-border gun movie desperado. i get my pictures back tomorrow. i finished that role back in september or something. wow, those are gonna be funny to look at. its gonna be like when my mom took pictures when we were little. shed take a lot, then develop the film all at once, like 8 roles or something. itd be a week after easter and thered be a stack if pictures, and you have the september birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, and all the good stuff between. work was fun. had 74 cheerleaders give me food vouchers for 10 dollars a pop. yup 74, i had to count them to verify at the end of the night. last night i saw a gay guy mack down hardcore with a chick. very odd and funny. just knowing hes gay, made it funny. maybe hes bi. who knows. aights, im outta this motha

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
10:38 pm
this guy is talking to me....like he KNOWS me!
things are gonna change. for myself, for the better. for you, itll be fine. dont worry babe, and think of a place in the US.

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
4:38 pm
Lapdances, Flogging Molly, and Beer
well yesterday was st pattys day, and it was a very weird but good day. the day started off with me going to work. i got there about 10 minutes early, and was feeling good. asked my lead abraham, a cool gay guy, what i was gonna do. he looked and i wasnt on the list to work that day. after some quick research, i found out i was working at some mexican resturant down by paradise pier. so after a 30 minute pause and cloths change, i arrived. this place was so unorganized, and a buncha cool guys talking about hangovers, lapdances their coworkers gave them on drunken nights and so on. i felt at home there. so after that crazyness, i came home. then fluff came all early saying i was gonna go see flogging molly with him. our buddy Turtle got tickets for us, so we went. nothing like a free concert outta nowhere. the show was really good, it wasnt really crowded which kinda shocked me. after that, turtle, fluff and myself went down by the whiskey and roxy on sunset and handed out flyers for a show on sunday. that was pretty cool, met some people, saw larry, kinda shocked hes still the bouncer at the whiskey. he gave me a hug. havent seen him since my junior year in high school. met a cool guy named Kyle that works the door at the el capitan theatre. turtle talked with him and it sounds like if we ever want to go see a show there, he could get us in. saw these really pround americans, driving up and down the strip, honking their horn screaming waving a big ass american flag. proud americans, and funny cuz they were in a toyota. came home and drank some beers afterwards.

Current Mood: good
Sunday, March 16th, 2003
11:54 pm
While I waited, I was wasting away...
ahhh, today was pretty good. drank too many beers last night. split some on my pants when i was pourin it in a glass.
thats the second time in two days that happened, except the time before it was mr pibb. jeanette and i were at wendys, and it fell just right so it looked like i got overly sexually excited. i had a pair of pants in the car, so i changed in the parking lot. ladies, when a guy does this, dont be shocked. jeanette thought it was the crazyest thing she had ever seen. went to work today after NASCAR sunday. ahhh, you have no clue how good that finish was. so awesome. i couldnt tell who was won until the third slow mo replay. work was better, we had people unlike yesterday. on the way to work, drove by Hooters and saw all the ladies outside in this congo line sorta thing. the sad thing is, i know a few of them. yeah, they have the grand opening tomorrow. should be good, will prob go. i got a big bruise on my right bicep. thanks taylor. we should fight like that again. CSUN is going down!!! you should seen her take the cream in the face at Norms. coffee creamer that is.

Current Mood: content
Saturday, March 15th, 2003
1:05 pm
I held a Falling star and it wept for me, dying
AAhhh, Saturday has arrived. i dont know if i get excited as much as i used to, cuz i have friday off. i totally failed yesterday. my goal was to do some cleaning around this motha, but that didnt happen. i even want to target and bought all the stuff i need. yeah, rambo wanted to go to Gigis, so that happend. then taylor and her roommated came down, which told me her name bout 3 times and i still dont remember. went to Norms. oh god bless Norms. chilled afterwards, and ended up playing frisbee at 2.30 on the morning in that quad area in phase 2. i was happy cuz everyones favorite RD Michelle, didnt wake up. that frisbee is loud in the middle of the night when it hits the cement. left there at about 4-4.30 in the morning. the weather was nice. not to cold, not warm, not wind, just perfect for the wee hours of the night/morning. that leads to my next question of where did the rain come from? i woke up and drove up state college at 9.30, and it was wet like its been raining for the last week. very odd. oh, the other night i went to the brians for the first time a very long time. nothings changed there at all. had random drunk and people high on random drugs just walking in, the cops outside looking for someone causing a big ruckus, and the most random porn being played on the tv. ahh, i that gave me flashbacks to the beginning of the year. there was this random trying to hook up with me, but i wasnt havin any of that. yeah, i stretched my neck a lot that night... DOWNLOAD DEATH OF SEASONS BY AFI!!!

Current Mood: refreshed
Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
11:12 pm
Life goes by so fast, you only wanna do what you think is right.
ahhh, so yesterday in class was kinda cool. there was this chick that had a nice face. i thought she had it going, but my roommate Jojo, was like, she aint got no junk. so that debate happened. then a conversation happened about which is better coke or pepsi, and this chick that snorts coke that was sittin next to me was loud and proud, "i like coke!" afterwards, came home and checked my mail, and to my surprise, me free st. pauli girl poster had arrived! that put me in a good mood. then Jojo and i went out to puente hills to go shopping. i sound like a woman right now. that was pretty cool. couldnt find the new AFI album though, so that kinda got me a lil upset, but curtis bought it and i put it on my comp in MP3 format. its good, and dont you dare call them sellouts, cuz their style changed. i did, and then i thought about it, every album they have is different from the last, and this is just a new direction. puente hills is like a different planet. i was the only white guy there. it was like planet asia over there, going by shopping centers, wondering what the hell they sell there, cuz the sing in all in Korean or something like that. today consisted of work and the mad urge for some Jamba Juice. thats been happening lately. after that, the Raminator, Casey Herself, Lincoln Logs and myself hit up the Jack in the box. good times up in there. chilled with my RA tonight which is different. she takes her job so seriously, but isnt a pain in your ass. shes a cool gal. met some other girls that live on our floor. they had the coolest TV stand. they are pretty coo, but they smoke, which leaves my clothes all stiny.

Current Mood: quixotic
Monday, March 10th, 2003
5:10 pm
the day goes on.. .
ahhh, yesterday was good. went to work, came home and talked with some people for a while. went to breas best with emily. that place is good. its the closest place that has a Hemet feel ive found, the only thing is, is that its too nice and clean. it has a Steves feel. even the mexicans with cowboy hats were there. i was feeling that. had some interesting conversations with that woman. work was work. kinda shocked that jackie was doing Front of the House stuff. that aint her scene. after work, came home and talked with Taylor and Stacy on the instant messenger for a lil while. had the web cam going, which is pretty cool. andy rami and i started staging fights and weird stuff for their entertainment. gas is too much. burnt my hand a lil at work today. that tingled. we ll see what the night brings us. prob homework and such

Current Mood: relaxed
Sunday, March 9th, 2003
2:22 pm
NASCAR Sunday
ahh, yesterday was very good, and bad. the bad was i needed to be at work from 730-130. that wasnt cool. the rest of the day, i spent with a buncha friends at disneyland. that was cool, some good bonding time there. came to a couple new conclusions, sarahs a lot cooler than i give her credit for, and michelles booty feels pretty nice. i seem to like california adventures, i think its underrated. go check out that bugs life 3D show, thats pretty cool. came back here and talked with jackie. she got in a car accident. thats not cool. thats two of my four ladies from Yucaipa to be in an accident within the last 30 days. more like 15. i am glad she is alright, that would suck if she wasnt. gots a lil more work today. thats cool, need to make some money. gung with Gigi for about 5. that chicks really cool and chill. she studies too much though. it sounds like san diego was good to my friend. she sounds a lil disappointed, cuz i think she wanted to party, in fact i know she did. she even brought the booty pants, but didnt get the opportunity to wear them. well babe, if you wanna wear them, you could put them on for me. Dale Jr. came in third today, another top five finish. eat chicken.

Current Mood: mellow
Saturday, March 8th, 2003
12:09 am
another day, another subway sandwich
ahhh, another day has concluded. had some chicken today. thats good stuff. and a subway sandwich. i love sandwiches. gimmie that, a woman, and a sixer, and im a happy camper. watched so dude make up some nice desserts with jordon on the food network. thats some good looking stuff. talked with some people at work today, the co workers. turns out im kinda the one the ladies dig on there. thats just weird, cuz ive never been the peice of ass that people dig on. plus i dont have an ass. fluff the stuff has an ass. supposed to go to disneyland tomorrow. i remember the last time i was there (to ride the rides), didnt like it too much. the crowd was just bothersome, and i felt a lil sick due to it. hopefully its different tomorrow. need some jamba juice, aloha pinapple... spent 33 bucks on a book for class that looked like i coulda got it for 10 at barnes and noble. that one pissed me off. i should call up caidi sometime soon, shes been unheard from. found someone that can hold my attention. she doesnt know it. dont know if i want to let her know. all i wanna do is live. i hate quoting Jonathan Davis like that. oh well

Current Mood: good
Thursday, March 6th, 2003
4:26 pm
Music and such
So last night was study night. didnt do much of it. did finish my Psyc homework so thats always good. that started watching the ring with ernie. first time i saw it. that movies a trip. good horror flick though, very eerie, the way that they should be made. went to bed too late, but whats new. i heard a viewing of donnie darko went down, hope you enjoyed that movie. tell me what you thought, and ill exchange my thoughts on that as well. started getting into a pretty involved conversation about music with jeanette. kinda surprised me, didnt know she wanted to know that much about it. not what you see, the guys in the back, roadies, booking agents, managers, all that good stuff. i think its cool, cuz its a topic that i know pretty well and feel comfortable talking about. just discovered a new band, well not new but new to me and maybe you, Cursive. youll know what im talkin bout when you hear them. yet another Saddle Creek band. god, that labels is on fire. along with Jade Tree. need to see The Beloved in concert. hear those guys tear it up. ahhhh, free orange county rock show on saturday, but i got work. thats kinda a shitty. yeah, and all the shows i want to go to are right at finals week, so that really sucks. oh well at least ill see Ozomatli again. late.

Current Mood: trying to stay awake.
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
8:27 pm
Today was a good day...
so today started off like the normal day, not wanted to wake up. decided Rambo was my hero, cuz he caught a lizard in the bathroom. How did it get there? who knows. those things freak me out. i could just picture myself there, going number two and seeing that thing. i woulda screamed like a woman and ran out of the room, messy booty and all. the day was interesting. the Seattle weather go on. went to disneyland with melissa today. that chicks coo. carried on great conversations with her, or i believe they were. it was pretty cool, went into the park with her and just ate food and left. kinda odd, but its nice. tomorrow is my day off, which it wont seem like it cuz i need to study and do my laundry. the next day off from everything will be next friday, which sucks cuz its a ways away. tonight, we dont know whats going to happen, other than RSA. im hoping something goes down. chilling with fluff the stuff right now. saw this dude at the grocery store yesterday, he was huge. the guys bicep was as big as my head, and tricep about as big as my thigh. rambo was like, i feel so little right now. good times. found out that Ozomatli is playing the House of Blues on May 17th, so if you wanna go, talk to me. thinking about life the other day and came to one conclusion. lifes full of questions. everyone asks them. why are we here? what are we supposed to do? these questions are easy to ask. the answer is we dont know. to stop asking them, thats the hard part.

Current Mood: kewl
Friday, February 28th, 2003
1:18 am
Murder on the Dance Floor
all good though. does anyone else like this seattle type weather we are having? kinda nice, cuz you dont know what its gonna be like, there for you dont do anything really which results in saving money. i shouldnt be talkin, i bought a new watch today. it looks like the kind that comes outta a box o corn flakes, but it says casio on it. got a 12er of Miller High Life today. i love cheap beer. i wanted some Pabst, but the people with me said no. guess they know better and i dont. was supposed to donate some blood today, but i fell asleep. took a test today. think i did alright. Jojo(mexican so pernounce like Hoho) said it kicked his ass. i believe him. my boys went to Heros tonight. thats the spot. know we re gonna be hittin that place up soon. 103 beers on tap, nuff said. need to hit up the Anthro tomorrow, and the disneyland area. take care of yourself.

Current Mood: sleepy motha f*cka
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